Time for another WACKY FACTS ABOUT DOGS with Archie Brindleton, guys!
This episode: THE POODLE!
For this episode of WACKY FACTS ABOUT DOGS, I did big piles of science-type research, guys!! Yup!! Plus 'fore I even started, my brainwiring was thinkingthoughts.... prolly a puppy with the wordybits "POO" plus "DULL" in their name would be the most snoring-ist puppies in evertimes, dontchathink!!?? Prolly, butt -NOPE!!
Poodles are full-up with awesomeness!! You will see!!
First up... the most basical facts: Everybuddy knows that Poodles were first gonna be called POOL NOODLES, butt that name was already taken, so a scientistman named Curly Shinanigans just made it shorter to keep things moving. He had lots to do that day.
Next up: Poodles have the most crazybananas haircuts in all of evertimes. I'm just putting that out there.
Did you know!!?? Poodles are one of the most popularish breed of puppy in the whole entire marbleworld!! I am not even joshing!! Prolly 'cuz they come in THREE whole sizes, guys!! SHORT, LESS SHORT plus NOT SO SHORT AT ALL!! Short ones are called TOYS, the not as short ones are called MINIS, plus the ones that are not short at all are called STANDARD. Yes.
FUN FACT: Way back when they were getting n'vented, the idea was that all three sizes would stack inside each other like those oldentimer wooden dolls from the Russiaplace, butt that did not work out.
Plus, did you know!!?? There are even MORE sizes that are not 'fficial!! Yup!! You can get them even more teensier in TEACUP size, plus there is a sorta in the middle size called MOYEN KLEIN.
MOYEN means medium in French wordybits, guys!! Plus KLEIN means small or mini in German wordybits!! How cool is that!!?? Basically what I am saying is that Poodles are some of the coolest international puppies in evertimes!! They are sooperdeedoopercool, even!! Sorta like the Dubble-Oh Jamesbondguy of puppies!! I know!! :)
Now for the FACTEROIDS!!
FACT: Poodles coats come in lotsa differenter colourparts, guys!! Like black, blue, cream, apricot, red, white, or even café-au-lait with a shot of espresso.
FACT: Poodle haircuts neverever stop growing, guys!! Not even when they are pooping!! I know!! So they need lotsa trips to salons for fancy "metro-canine" grooming plus they all demand to have subscriptions to at least eleventy haircut magazinebooks. I like Poodles, butt that is a little much.
FACT: Poodles have gigantical brainmelons with lotsa brainwiring in there. Sciencefacts say that Poodles have thinkingthoughs real close to the thinkingthoughts of peoples, even!! Yup!! 'Course that is why they win so much dollarpennies on TVbox game shows.
If you say "BIG MONEY - NO WHAMMIES!!" near a poodle, it will go crazybananas plus want to spin a gigantical wheel. So be careful is what I am saying.
There are THREE whole differenter kinds of Poodle coats, guys!!
- TOPIARY (sooper rare!!)
TOPIARY POODLES do not eat much or need much exercising, butt great googilymoogily do they ever need lots of water, guys!!
FACT: Poodles with CORDED COATS can be wound up plus put into storage when not in use. Yup. It's pretty impressive.
FACT: The sooperspecial Poodle hair is real wiry plus almost waterproof, guys!! That made it perfectal for hunting for turkeygobblers and stuff near swampymarcshes plus burblecreeks!!
One day, in oldentimesdays, eleventy hunred fireants ran up the pants of a sooperfamous puppygroomer who was 'bout to give Poodle Curly Kingston III his regular old haircut. Butt that did not happen!! ALLASUDDEN after lotsa jumping plus yelling of bad words, the the very first CONTINENTAL HAIRCUT was n'vented!! Basically the groomer did not want to admit he had ants in his pants, so he just said "I MEANT TO DO THAT!!" plus the rest is history!!
My name is ARCHIE BRINDLETON plus those are the facts - FAR AS I KNOW!! :) :) :)