Now is the times for another sooperfun episode of...
WACKY FACTS ABOUT DOGS
with ARCHIE BRINDLETON!
This episode is alla 'bout the NEAPOLITAN MASTIFF aka PAJAMA DOGS!!
Okee Doke!! Down to tacky brassparts, everybuddy!!
Let’s get all the stuff everybody knows already out of the way, K? K!
Everybody knows Neapolitan Mastiffs are:
- Filled with chocolate, strawberry and vanilla ice cream.
Truestory for reals no joshing seriousface, guys!! These big ‘ol wrinklypeoples are part of the Mastiff family of dogpersons. Yup!! If you ‘member from an earlier episode, I told you that MASTIFF is just a spelling oops that nobody wants to admit to. Yes. It should say MASSIVE. Neapolitan Massive.
Anyhoozle, these guys were invented way back in oldentimesdays by a hairy Wizardman named Joey Starhat for a King named Beardy McWrinklebottom Jones. One daytimes after eating eggs, the King said, “Wiz, Make me an awesome dog that looks like it is wearing jammies allatimes!” and the wizard said, “Sounds awesome!! I will do it” and then he totally did. 'Cept that when he was almost done cooking it up inna big pot, he knocked in a whole bag of extra strength wrinkles! I know!! First the wizard said 11 bad words in a row, then he said ”This thing is gonna look crazy!” And then it totally did! Latertimes, the King came to see his new dog that he was going to name Frothingham Sandwichhands. Yes. I think it is French. Prolly. When the King saw his new dog with jillions of extra-strength wrinkles, the King said “Whoa!! plus Joey Starhat said “Iknowrite?” and the rest is history.
- FACT 1: Neopolitan Mastiff wrinkles are so big, plus so droopy, that if you stretched out all of the extra flubber in every direction, you would basically have a trampoline with a dog’s face.
- FACT B: Neapolitan’s usually wear blue, black, chocolate, or tawny pajamas, but in sooper rare cases they can have Star Wars, Superfriends plus even Deputy Dawg pajamas too. It is pretty cool, actually.
- FACT For: Neapolitan puppies are SLOBBERY!! Yes!! butt they can’t even help it! It’s 'cuz of alla those extra flubbery wrinkles and stuff, guys!! Each one drools 'bout eleventy mcjillion gallons of goop for every yeartimes! Give or take.
- This one time a small lady got washed away and had to take a boat ride back to her house. Also, boys drool waymorelots than girls because of science.
- FACT 11T: They are average shedders, butt they are real good at building decks plus putting up siding, so there’s that.
And those are the facts as far as I know!
Tune in nextimes for more WACKY FACTS ABOUT DOGS with me, Archie Brindleton!!